Chapter 6 of The Surrendered Wife suggests that you "Relinquish the Chore of Managing the Finances." WHAT was the deal with that?! I immediately thought about how his mother has always controlled the finances. She handled his accounts before we were married. I handled them afterwards. He never even seemed to want to. We opened a joint account, & he has never offered to help. I have asked him from time to time when money was tight what to pay or how we could pay this or that. He does check our accounts regularly online. Often we discuss how much we have, what has been paid, what is due, etc. I set up a budget. We have tried that, made changes, tried it again. All in all, it has never worked out. He never understands where it all goes so fast. It is hard to get all of the bills paid up before others roll in. I thought about what a stressful load & struggle it has been for me to manage our money for these 13+ years. This makes me feel like a failure. So, what did I do?
Instead of the romantic statement I had originally planned, it came out something like, "I want a regular date night, and I want you to take over our finances. I just can't do it anymore." For the 1st time ever, he was like a deer in headlights. I might as well left the 1st part out because it was drowned out by the second. Further more, I might as well asked him to cut off his toe for me. He probably would have considered that better. I can't even remember what he said, but it was pure shock. He was like what? I think I repeated it again. I tried to explain how it stressed me out, how I had failed for over 13 years at it, & how I thought he could do it. It took him a while to process what I was saying. I tried explaining how he was the one that worked so hard for the money & how I trusted him to pay what needing paying. I also threw in that all I would need was cash for groceries & miscellaneous items each week. He asked too many questions. I tried to think through an answer for each one, but then he would fire off another. I could tell his head was spinning, but he didn't look unhappy though. He ended the conversation by saying he sure didn't expect that but would try. He also thanked me for the way I handled asking. I smiled nervously.
Maybe this could be a good thing or maybe our lights would get cut off...only time will tell!