Thursday, January 22, 2015

My Experiment Results Thus Far: Giving=Receiving

     "...treating a man respectfully brings out his natural tendency to treasure his wife.  When he realizes he has your full faith & trust, he will not let you down, & will feel fierce responsibility to meet your expectations...The more you relinquish control, the more masculine he will feel.  Your faith gives him added strength and reminds him who he is & that he wants to take care of you & ensure your delight...When a wife respects her husband, he naturally responds with more confidence in himself & gratitude for his wife.  This makes him cherish her more & spend more time & effort memorizing the things that make her happy."  The Surrendered Wife
     What I am learning is that by giving up control (that word makes me squirm to think I did/do that), I am receiving much more.  It is so unnecessary to control or correct such stupid things such as where the eggs go in the refrigerator (yes that tempted me today)!  Giving up that "power" brings less stress & exhaustion.  Now I don't have to be on top of everything.  I can relax more in knowing there is indeed another competent adult living here.  Being less critical brings more peace & JOY into our home too! 
     "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."  -Gandhi
     What a wise statement!  Changing doesn't mean trumpets will sound nor gold metals will be given either.  I found that to be true real quick!  That's just how this life is.  Seriously, I am after far greater~the key to my husband's heart!  & he still hasn't noticed?  Nope, not a clue!  Why?  Maybe because he is just waiting for another ball to drop or maybe because I'm returning to the real me, the one he feel in love with, the one he married.  While we were dating, not much he did got on my nerves to even need correction.  I loved him in every circumstance & sure never bossed him around like his mother would.  Acting like that wouldn't have lasted a minute!  I was both good-natured & easy to please.  Chances are with dating, I didn't always speak up abruptly either.  If I had a restaurant in mind but he spoke up another suggestion 1st, I surely didn't fuss!  No, I enjoyed his company right on!  I laughed & listened.  So did he!  We bore our hearts to one another & dreamed the same dreams without putting forth effort.  The magic was there.  It still is!  All we must do as wives is dust off our best selves!  Do I really expect him to brag on me for being who he married?  I think not.
     In this process of finding myself all over again, I've realized that self care is a large part of the bigger picture.  For some reason, it seems selfish at first but is actually a gift from you to your family.  Enjoying things in life is a huge part of being an enjoyable person to be around.  Makes sense, right?  Carving out time for something that brings you pleasure makes life seem a whole lot less stressful.  When you are having fun, life will look up again & not feel like you are using every drop of energy just to exist for everyone else's sake!  If you have nothing to give, you are starving your marriage with no opportunity to survive.  If you think highly enough of yourself to treat yourself well, chances are that others will too!  This seems easy enough!  I think I better go enjoy a nice long bath before I find out what on earth will be next!

1 comment:

  1. I love reading these. You speak to right where I am so many times!